should have known. should have known. should have known. should have known. why didn't i prepare better for the inevitable? i've stopped feeling anyway. there's no way it could have happened. why can't i just get used to it? fuck this. fuck him. fuck myself for feeling like this. fuck the tears running down my face. fuck my life. fuck being happy. fuck the things that remind me of him. fuck my feelings. i hate me, every single thing. get me out of this town. put me on a bus and send me away. let me forget everything that never even happened. a whole motherfucking year later. i'm never doing this again.
fuck this. whatever. yeah, i'm fine.